The Snowden Kids
The power of the tongue can persuade, deceive, enlighten, encourage and much more. Perhaps that is why God gave us one! Our Mighty Maker also gave us another powerful instrument as well and that is our children.
When my first born, who is now going on 19 in less than a month, was born; my heart was bubbling over with love and joy. I was proud of my boy! Why? Because he was MINE! To me, he was perfect, he could do nothing wrong but only bring me joy.
Then he grew! Any mom and dad out there can see where I am going here? I would find candy wrappers hidden in his room or step on ragged edged Lego's (when he was told to put them away) and then he ask; "Why?" when I would tell him to do something. That perfect child that brought me so much joy, began bringing me more...heart brake, frustration and disappointment. My love for him never changed, but my 'outlook' altered. ?
Glad the Heavenly Father never changes His outlook on me...though I know I must disappoint Him too, many times.
Today, I heard my son say something that struck my heart deeply, he said that he was criticized in front of his friends and now they are showing him great disrespect.
When a parent puts his or her child down in front of others (needless to say anytime) will then result in greater harm that will imprint the deepest hurt and damage into the heart of our children. In turn, this will cause a domino affect of relationships being forever damaged, low self-esteem and how even our children will treat others; including their own.
All because of our tongues; which could be a wonderful instrument when God is in control. Yet, the flesh takes over...and 'slash' the knife cuts the heart, over and over again.
I know that I have been flippant on how I talk to or about my son to others, including his friends. I may be upset he didn't help like I needed him to around the house, or just being 'up-to-par' to my standards of 'my' child. So, I let grace just take wings and allow the flesh to drive. Resulting in my son hurting, not just with me or my husband; but then others I shared in turn disrespect him.
Sad isn't it! I have seen first hand how when a child does grow up to be a husband, then a father; still battle the pain of being disrespected by the ones he 'loved-the-best.' This can be detrimental to so many; frankly for generations.
I had a girl friend when I was in my teen years. She was a wonderful girl. Her mother on the other hand hurt her by constantly putting her down, in front of me and fellow family members. She didn't complement or encourage her at all. My friend tried so hard to please her mother, yet to know avail. She was a very sad young woman.
Today, I personally sent letters to some friends and loved ones I feel I have presented my son disrespectfully to. I asked for their forgiveness, but mostly to let them know I was WRONG. I asked them in turn to respect my dear son who indeed is a great young man of God. I will go on to say; he is generous beyond measure, compassionate, loves His God and His family, hard working and the list goes on.
Taking time to let our children know how much we appreciate them for just anything will lift their spirits. Cause them in turn to respect us. My girl friend had no respect for her mother, who was even a minister. Even then, I use to say to her; "Respect reaps respect and it should come from the parent first." To be fare, I don't criticize my son hardly; I edify more so. But, just the little bit I did, caused him to be hurt by me through his friends who were affected by my words of strife.
Parents; I know this was long...but I ask you to pray about this. Take my testimony and apply it to your relationship with your precious children.
In the end, I want to know my kids knew I loved them and respected them and also that they had the utmost respect for me.
Goodness, I can say that easily about my godly mother and father who raised me with so much grace and edification. Someone once told me I was spoiled. Yes, I was...by parents who never put me down but lifted me up. Parents who I have the 'utmost' respect for to this day!
My Father: Rev. Paul Gray (on his 80th b-day)
Can't you just see how sweet he is...how did I ever get to be so blessed to be his daughter; I shall never know?
Thankyou for sharing your heart, Daneille. This was a good post, and a good reminder for all of us to be careful what we say about our children to others.
ReplyDeleteDaneille, you are a great mom. Especially because, when you do mess up, you own up to it and make it right. If only we could all be that way in our dealings with everyone. Wouldn't Christ be pleased? Thanks so much for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteOur young men need respect. They thrive on it. It is very important. And if you happen to watch anything on TV (it's hard not to, they are in every restaurant and office you go to) the commercials portray men as "the stupid guy". I hate that. We will have generations of men thinking that this is how they should act because as a culture, we have disrespected them for years. I am glad you are doing your part to show respect in your home and to ask for forgiveness for times of disrespect. It is so, so important. We want these men to grow up to lead their families spiritually. God be praised!
Love you, Shelley C.
Hey Daneille, nice to see you on the Internet! Miss you guys.
ReplyDeleteI would like to also add to this that we deeply discourage our children and embarress them when we chasten them in front of others (of course if it is life and death that is another issue). They loose respect for us as the parent, distrust in the parent and on. I can see the humiliation in a child when this happens.
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