(C) Daneille Snowden
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| My 19 yr. old son when he was born with his daddy in 1991 |
How Do You Want Your Son to Treat His Wife?
By Daneille Snowden (God is the inspiration.)I love to read books in almost all the genre's out there (not a big fiction fan though). One of my favorites are help books on family; with of course a Biblical emphasis.
God has blessed us with many teachers in the area of raising a godly family. We do have our favorites.
Yet, books are not the only teacher! I am sure you will agree with me that time and experience do rate up to the #1 Spot; those teachers are ones who have successfully and unsuccessfully raised children. I found myself analyzing, listening,and notating as much as I possibly could from my 'Sensei's'.
One area that I would like to share about presently is how we as parents should teach our sons, in the area of training them how they should treat their wives. As I am writing this the nation has just celebrated Valentines Day, where especially husbands and wives share their sentiments of love toward one another. Being a minister, I have counselled so many ladies who say they would rather have their husband trade the ceremonious gifts for just a daily showing of respect, communication and tenderness.
So, how do we train our boys right now to do this? Mom, we pretty much have our young sons to ourselves for at least the first 7 years. Dad after this will need to kick-in and pretty much show the young man the way to being that man God created him to be.
Ladies, our sons first and foremost need to respect us as that-Ladies. For example; allowing our boys to back, ignoring this insult, laughing it off, or going along is absolutely creating not just a major problem for you in the near future but a detrimental marriage several years later. Perhaps, mom, you are not the personality to be stubborn and strong willed to stand-up; but you MUST: not just for yourself but for your son's sake. I can tell you now, I have two daughters who are young and I do keep an eye out for young men who may one day want to catch her eye. When I see a young boy treat his mama in this way by back talking, being down right rude and disrespectful-my mind notates this. I love my daughters as well as any parent. None of us want them to marry a young man that has never been taught how to treat his mother decently.
Secondly, manners-yes chivalry in man needs revived! Woman do like it, we love it for several reasons. One, is that it makes us feel special to this particular man in our lives. We like feeling special don't we ladies! Teach them to open the doors for you mom, and dad...come on; teach your boys not just by your example but tell them. Also the simple words, "please" and "thank you" has to be taught greatly in this society that is reproducing rudeness at a quantum speed.
Another major factor is teaching our boys about 'tone'. If a man don't have the right 'tone' then the house is 'out of tune!' Seriously, it's true-those of us who have been married for eons can tell you this is vital. Most woman are quite sensitive. Sensitive to physical and emotional touch. Quite possibly more so toward the emotional. I can see in my mind's eye the men reading this with tongue in cheek (smile). I know it's hard, first mom's-we have to teach our kiddos when they are quite young that they cannot yell at people, especially loved ones. Gruff voices, lack of eye contact, ignoring cannot be allowed. It is exhausting to stay on top of this; but like I said before-you will be saving marriages, who knows maybe lives. Dad's, yes you are the teacher mostly by example. If some of the areas are possibly a hard spot for you, conquer it for your boy and your future daughter-n-law and oh your wife too. Help your wife by supporting her as she teaches your son these lessons.
A son has a natural instinct to lead, it's God-given! But, as long as mom is home with her son-she still has her parental authority. That authority MUST be respected and obeyed. The father is the 'priest' of the home, yet he is not always there. Thus, this is when he has to take his son aside and have his heart-to-heart talk with his BOY and instruct him that he still has to obey and yes respect his mother.
Whew, raising a boy is fun but it is a lot of work. I thoroughly believe that is because we are raising leaders. Thank God for our boys! Thank God for a wonderful opportunity to raise them to be valiant men of God!
NEW PARENT'S PRAYER-Steven Stewart
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Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."Psalm 127:3 "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him."
Proverbs 4:1-17 "Listen , my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. When I was a boy in my father's house, still tender, and an only child of my mother, he taught me and said, Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live."
Books to read: Raising Real Men: Surviving, Teaching, and Appreciating Boys by Hal & Melanie Young Raising a Modern Day Knight: A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood - revised edition
The Hair-Raising Joys of Raising Boys By: Dave Meurer
When I'm a Daddy: A Little Boy's Guide to Biblical Fatherhood By: Ginger Adair Fulton
And so many more!
Daneille Snowden’s Publishing. Any reprint must include an acknowledgement of where it came from. Contact snowden54jesus@hotmail.com
Good words, Daneille. Finding a chivalrous young man these days is becoming more and more hard to do. I definitely want to teach my son good manners and respect for young ladies. Its so important.
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