WORDS FITLY SPOKEN [SPEAKING AFFIRMING WORDS TO OUR CHILDREN]
by Daneille Gray Snowden
Proverbs 25:11 "A word fitly spoken and in due season is like apples of gold in settings of silver."
It's been my hearts desire to share with my readers the essential need to affirm our children with words of grace dripping from our lips. With arms that are always ready to hold our child tightly. As well as eyes that peer into the windows of our children's souls, and ears to hear their hearts as they share with you.
Many of us inherit our parenting skills from our own progenitor. A lot of what we do is what was unconsciously (seemingly) transmitted into our own motherly or fatherly character. Some of the character attributes are quite positive, others...well nicely put --- absolutely STINK! For example; yelling, reacting in anger, expectations we exude; but are not according to the godly traits God has laid out in His Word and so on.
When we REACT to our children, most of the time it is out of frustrations; sometimes, we are just wore out physically, most have a tendency to blow up and out with words of anger. Decisions of punishment are made in an instant as our minds and spirits are in the fog of debris after the explosion of temper. To expect any good fruit from this in my opinion is fruitless in itself. We sow flesh we will reap flesh. We sow anger, we will reap more anger, as well as bitterness and resentment...a difficult lesson to be learned. [Galations 6:8 "For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life."]
Just in my life, I have observed this. Parents that have disciplined their children (greatly) in anger, punishing in anger and not in love have reaped bitterness from them as they get older. In younger children; some internalize their hurt (because simply, they do not know how to process it). As they grow older, it will come to surface. It pains me to see this when I observe a parent 'blow-up' with their children; in the Spirit I can see that child not only be mortified but have her/his heart crushed. You see, a child's number one goal is to please mommy and daddy. For both parents to say; "I am so proud of you" --yes, on a daily basis means the world to them. Yet, mom/dad; never say, "I am proud of you but....", followed by a lecture. The praise you thought you gave means nothing.
Grace is a feminine noun in the Greek, means grace, favor and kindness. Defined in the dictionary it means; pleasing, an attractive quality or endowment. Sounds lovely doesn't it! When I think of grace, my minds eye thinks of a lovely southern bell from 19th century walking and talking with such sweet grace in her movement and her words (with of course that adorable accent too). Truly though, grace is KIND, it is applied gently with the gift of favor. As we speak FAVOR to our children we are giving them many gifts. What are they? Gifts of CONFIDENCE, COMFORT, SECURITY, SATISFACTION, ACCOMPLISHMENT and we all know I could go on and on. I rather have these being poured into my child's spirit rather than anger, malice, resentment and defeat of the child's entire heart. [Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech at all times be gracious (pleasant and winsome), seasoned [as it were] with salt, [so that you may never be at a loss] to know how you ought to answer anyone (who puts a question to you)"].
May I challenge all parents; ask God to prick your hearts. Pray for a teachable spirit to hear His Spirit show you how to affirm, teach, discipline and love your children. He will pour more of His Grace into you...in turn allow it to just be a fountain filling the hearts of your children.
Many of us inherit our parenting skills from our own progenitor. A lot of what we do is what was unconsciously (seemingly) transmitted into our own motherly or fatherly character. Some of the character attributes are quite positive, others...well nicely put --- absolutely STINK! For example; yelling, reacting in anger, expectations we exude; but are not according to the godly traits God has laid out in His Word and so on.
When we REACT to our children, most of the time it is out of frustrations; sometimes, we are just wore out physically, most have a tendency to blow up and out with words of anger. Decisions of punishment are made in an instant as our minds and spirits are in the fog of debris after the explosion of temper. To expect any good fruit from this in my opinion is fruitless in itself. We sow flesh we will reap flesh. We sow anger, we will reap more anger, as well as bitterness and resentment...a difficult lesson to be learned. [Galations 6:8 "For he who sows to his own flesh (lower nature, sensuality) will from the flesh reap decay and ruin and destruction, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life."]
Just in my life, I have observed this. Parents that have disciplined their children (greatly) in anger, punishing in anger and not in love have reaped bitterness from them as they get older. In younger children; some internalize their hurt (because simply, they do not know how to process it). As they grow older, it will come to surface. It pains me to see this when I observe a parent 'blow-up' with their children; in the Spirit I can see that child not only be mortified but have her/his heart crushed. You see, a child's number one goal is to please mommy and daddy. For both parents to say; "I am so proud of you" --yes, on a daily basis means the world to them. Yet, mom/dad; never say, "I am proud of you but....", followed by a lecture. The praise you thought you gave means nothing.
Grace is a feminine noun in the Greek, means grace, favor and kindness. Defined in the dictionary it means; pleasing, an attractive quality or endowment. Sounds lovely doesn't it! When I think of grace, my minds eye thinks of a lovely southern bell from 19th century walking and talking with such sweet grace in her movement and her words (with of course that adorable accent too). Truly though, grace is KIND, it is applied gently with the gift of favor. As we speak FAVOR to our children we are giving them many gifts. What are they? Gifts of CONFIDENCE, COMFORT, SECURITY, SATISFACTION, ACCOMPLISHMENT and we all know I could go on and on. I rather have these being poured into my child's spirit rather than anger, malice, resentment and defeat of the child's entire heart. [Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech at all times be gracious (pleasant and winsome), seasoned [as it were] with salt, [so that you may never be at a loss] to know how you ought to answer anyone (who puts a question to you)"].
May I challenge all parents; ask God to prick your hearts. Pray for a teachable spirit to hear His Spirit show you how to affirm, teach, discipline and love your children. He will pour more of His Grace into you...in turn allow it to just be a fountain filling the hearts of your children.
Good words.
ReplyDelete