Is It A Sin When We Don't Trust Certain People?

Daneille Gray Snowden copyright(c)2021

 Is It A Sin When We Don't Trust Certain People? 

  The bow string has tensed tight as it's strings are pulled back and releases the piercing arrow that enters the heart, wounding deeply. Sometimes this

happens in slow motion and sometimes it seems to come out of no where: quickly!

For the arrow to pierce the target it has to be somewhat close, definitely in eye's view. When a person hurts us, or the most part it is from those who are close to us in some fashion. They may be a family member, a close friend and even a co-worker. It could be in the confines of church, family, a friend, and at our places of employment. 

The levels of hurt can depend on who and the confines we are in. When it's a spouse, parent and a child; it definitely is a deep hurt, simply because truly- family is the dearest & closest relationship for most people. Then there the hurts from our church (Christian) brothers and sisters; (of which I could write a book on) hurt us deep, especially because this passes the realms of the physical bond to a spiritual. In our work environment, when we work side-by-side with others; this affects us in an unusual way which is in the areas of our skillset and hard labor. It can affect our reputation and future in some cases. And lastly, close friends; they are the people we choose to let into our personal inner-chamber of safety; by trusting them in countless ways. 

The Psalmist David writes of his experiences of being hurt:

Psalms 41:9  "Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heal against me." 

Through out his life he has his father-n-law, son and friends betray him. As time goes by he learned through the hurt on how to feel and respond. Seeing clearly through the eyes of the Lord and not his own. 

We will focus more on the side of the one that has been inflicted. Later in the article learn on how to NOT be the afflicter. 

We hurt when someone we trusted attacks our character, betrays us (by breaking confidence shared), also when ones we trusted gossip about us behind our back, lastly: when those we once felt so close to bully and disrespect us. Ouch! The pain is intense! 

We all have different personalities, and because of that, how we respond will be different; and that is ok. My husband who is a loving man, reacts differently than I do. My entire being just shuts down, and I have to be alone to filter out my emotions. My husband will be sad, but just move on. 

I asked at the beginning of this article, is it a sin when we don't trust people. Sin comes when the hurt we feel isn't healed. This is important to know, it is NOT a sin to not trust people: but it is a sin to not forgive them. Healing does come from forgiveness. Think about it; we were healed when Jesus forgave our sin. There is a setting free, and a lifting of a deep burden when we choose to forgive the one who hurt us. 

When we do not forgive, our soul is poisoned and we become bitter which can lead to retribution of sort
on our part. We cannot let this happened. Our soul evolves into a person not what God purposed and planned for us to be. We can be bitter, have great anxiety, loose hope and be very lonely as we push people away. God placed us in a world filled with people that need each other. I need people and you do too, when we are hurt this is a divisive way the enemy uses to separate ones so he can destroy their life. Don't let this happen to you!

Our hearts which have been betrayed; can be healed, and God can help us to move forward in our lives when we totally place our trust in Him. We are not told to trust man and even our government! {wink wink} We are encouraged over and over again to place our complete trust in God! 

Isaiah 26:4  "Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal."

John 14:1 "“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me."

Proverbs 29:5 "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe."

As we totally rely on God, of Whom is our ever loving Father - our perspective will change! We will attain a different type of trust; because God's character will be grafted within us to trust in a totally different yet wholesome way. 

Trust is inseparable from loving others. Two components are essential: honesty & trust. 

NEED TRUST TO:

Bear one another's burdens - Gal. 6:2

To spur one another on (in the faith) - Heb. 10:24

To confess our sins, & are difficulties to one another - James 5:16

Let's recap: when we're hurt we must: 

(1) Trust God First : Ps. 118:6 "The Lord is for me, I will not fear what man can do to me."

                                 Ps. 118:8-9 It is better to trust the Lord than to take refuge and trust in man.

(2) Have Forgiveness:  Matt. 18:21-22 Jesus told Peter you forgive and forgive again (70x7)

We must be QUICK to release the offense!

NOTE: 

-We are never to avenge! Rom. 1:19 1 Peter 3:9

-We are to love & pray for them. Matt. 5:44

-We are to know Jesus will NEVER leave us nor forsake us! Ps. 34:18  Ps. 27:10

-We are to be kind, tender hearted, forgiving one another. Ep. 4:32 

Now, recall that I said it's not a sin to not trust people. It isn't!!! 

There is a scriptures that speaks about marking those, & avoid them that cause division. (Romans 16:17)  Take this and use wisdom. We can still love and pray for them, but we also can not allow them to be a part of our lives. 

If the person who hurt you is a Christian; remember they are still your brother or sister. You will spend eternity with them in heaven.  

Chose to still be kind! My mama (who was a godly woman with a sense of humor) use to say to me; "Kill them with kindness." Not literally killing but kill the bad attitude and acts they may be giving to you. Just be kind...CHOSE TO BE KIND! To be like Jesus. That of course does NOT mean we do not stand up for ourselves and communicate clearly in a loving manner that you are hurt and offended. If we walk in the Spirit, with the mannerism of Christ- we can still do this in His Love. 

*When hurt just be careful ….oh may I reiterate: BE VERY CAREFUL to not speak evil against others. 

"Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it." James 4:11 

*Let us also be SLLLLOOOOWWWW TO ANGER! Prov. 19:11

*Choose to LOVE! Prov. 10:12 "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers a multitude of sins."

*Confront in a loving way the offender: Matt. 18:15 "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother."

HOW TO NOT HURT OTHERS????

BE TRUSTWORTHY!

1) Keep your word - Matt. 5:37

2) Reframe from gossip - 1 Tim. 5:13  2 Tim. 2:16

3) Care for one another - James 2:14-17  1 Jn. 3:17-18

Now I will address your hurt; I am so sorry, I truly am. Believe me, I totally understand where you are. I know I have been hurt in every category I listed above several times over. When we love, we make ourselves vulnerable. As I say this, I see Jesus - who humbled Himself (made Himself) by placing His life where He knew those He loved and created would greatly hurt Him. Yet, He continued to walk out His life with a purpose to save all, redeeming them by setting them free and being a constant in all our daily lives.

Hear Jesus say; "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matt. 11:28

Do what I do, get alone with Jesus. Cry, scream, cry again and surrender your hurt. Open yourself up to His healing virtue to not only restore you; but graft more of His nature within you. You see, in this hurt (of which He is well acquainted) it opens us up to be more one with Him.  

So, 'Is it a sin when we don't trust people?' No...but this runs far deeper doesn't it!

Do you need prayer? Send me an email or find me on FB and send me a message and I will pray with you.

I hope and pray this small study was a help for you as it sure has been for me. We are not to be walking wounded, but be Jesus' Hands and Feet to this hurting world. 

~Daneille