Author Daneille Snowden

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When I was 7 years old I was born again! Five years later, the Lord filled me with His Holy Spirit and called me out to serve in full time service in the ministry. My heart is missions and a longing to love people into God's Kingdom.
I love to teach God's Word, pray with people and write. 
Soon, we are hoping our Jesus opens amazing doors to walk into mission endeavors.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

WHAT WIVES DESIRE FROM THEIR HUSBANDS

WHAT WIVES DESIRE FROM THEIR HUSBANDS
by Daneille Gray Snowden

          Melissa and Joe were strolling hand in hand by the lake as the sunset glistened on the their already glowing faces.  She was pouring out her heart as he gazed at her intently. They approached and sat slowly down on a white bench which was close to the shore. Melissa was suddenly wrapped in Joe's long strong arms; he then decided to pray with his wife about the matters she had shared with him. As the sun sat that evening, a smile grew on Melissa's face as well as a feeling of security, love and joy totally enriched her entire being.  
  "Oh my!" Isn't that the absolute dream of a perfect evening for any Christian wife (and husband)? Communication, listening, affection, time spent, leadership, praying, putting God first and feeling safe all wrapped up in just a few short hours. This has been some feedback I received after I sent out a poll to several Christian wives of all ages and backgrounds. I had asked these ladies; "What do you as a Christian wife need, desire, and crave from your husband the most?" Share from each category - Spiritually/Emotionally/Physically/Mentally.  Yet, the categories were reinvented into:[Each of these were under the latter I asked for.]
1.) LISTENING/COMMUNICATION AND UNDERSTANDING
2.) GODLY EXAMPLE/LEADERSHIP/PRAYER
3.) AFFECTIONATE, RESPECT/Co-Heirs and Co-Equals
4.) SELFLESS/LOVE AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH 
  Later, I will add one more personally I believe all wives desire as well. It amazed me how, when these ladies decided to truly share their heart; they all basically had close to the same desires (via-the categories listed).
  This little article is for anyone who really wants to see their marriage be more. I say; "more" meaning 'all God intended a marriage to be'. I honestly do not believe I have to convince anyone married, on what they need as a couple there are always issues needing to be 'worked-out' or 'improved'. When two totally separate individuals not only live together, but honestly do long to grow more and more closer (together) in an eternal way; there will definitely be challenges to conquer! Love is our driving force; our love for God, His Word and our love for our mate will be the engine that will keep us going through the many miles life will take us.      
 So, here we go; allow me to share with you now what our wives shared with me.    
 First of all:  being a LISTENER AND HAVE COMMUNICATION-
  We all know communication is both listening and talking. Quite simple, well to most woman this is simple. The 'spirit' of a woman is longing to be free and intimately open to someone, not only to one they can trust but who is also able to handle her heart with strength and gentleness. When this is discovered, we then flow freely and open up our hearts which means our mouths too!
In addition, we need to love back- by listening to the hearts of our husbands. We want to know him, we want to serve him and be a true friend indeed. When our lovers are not talking to us and sharing from the deep places in their own spirits; it hurts intensely! Of all the categories listed this is where many wives all shared a common thread. Here are just a few of the remarks:
*"I long for interesting conversations about a variety of topics (road trips are good for this – we can talk for hours!) I like when he values my ideas and solutions and goes first to me for input."
*"When he is understanding and patient, always listening to me."
*"By spending time talking with me and desires to know me completely."
*"By listening and comforting me. Engage in conversation and is understanding."
*"To listen to me when I need to talk. To understand my needs better."
    2nd is GODLY EXAMPLE/LEADERSHIP/PRAYER - 
 Christian woman, who read and study God's Word are well educated on what a true spiritual leader should be. Ephesians 5:23 "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Savior of the body." Of course we know that verses 22-24 speak to both the husband and wife about leadership, submission and Christ's Love. Let's just stay with  wives longing for their husbands to lead. How? By living out a Christlike spirit at home as well as in public. Making choices that will only lead his family as true children of God. This involves areas of entertainment, friends, worship, and service. Of course though this will be another category I will share but, I Peter 3:7; "Treating her as a “weaker vessel” does not mean an inferior vessel." [Jack Wellman]  We love it when our husbands lead. We really do! Here is what the a few of the wives had to say:
*"To pray with me and the kids on a regular basis."
*"To be the spiritual leader of the home."
*"Need him to be in prayer almost constantly to cover our family."
*"Need him to feel he can be the spiritual leader because I know God talks to him and I need our family to be in order."
* "Prayer & guidance"
*"Desire to serve God above all else!"
*"Faithful in tithing (giving back to God)."
     3rd AFFECTIONATE -
  We love to be held, caressed and kissed. We love to see our husbands to do the same for our children. Of course there is balance, but when the husbands strong hands embraces his soulmates smaller soft hands this melts the heart. Here is what some of the wives shared:
*"Hugs. Also, double kisses before we part, as well as before bedtime. (This is something my parents did all their married life – double kisses EVERY DAY! Neither ever left the house without the other, until they kissed – and twice)."
*"Hold hands & do fun things like picnics, walking etc."
*"The physical relationship to remain emotionally healthy and not insecure. My X, never touched me, held my hand, nothing. It caused me to feel really bad about myself back then. So, in order for me to remain emotionally healthy, touch is important."
*"A little tlc sometimes (hold my hand, ect)."
*"Holding my hand more often when we go places together, just because he loves me."
          4th, RESPECT/Co-Heirs and Co-Equals-
 Most Christian men are gentlemen. But, of course in this world with much variety we witness disrespect, gruffness, and condescending. This is not how Christ loved the church, woman love their husbands but when they are not respected and treated as fellow Heirs in Christ their is a dangerous unbalance that will indeed affect the entire family.  1 Peter 3:7 "In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise you cannot pray effectively.]" She is your equal, oh I just know their are people wiggling in their chairs. I am not talking about leadership, I am speaking we all are co-heir together. This past year, my husband and I were eating with a younger couple than us. A heated topic came up and she was sharing with us but looking at him. He chastened her and talked her down. Her spirit was crushed. I have written about respect concerning wives toward their husbands and this needs to be stressed greatly in the world we do live in. But, for now this is what wives desire. Here is some from the wives:
*"He makes me feel highly valued, respected. Also, is fully engaged and attentive when we’re having a conversation."
*"I need to feel connected and understood."   
*"I desire closeness as a soulmate/bestfriend and need to feel confident that I can trust him with everything."
*"For me, honestly...our spiritual bond with him, when he prayed  for me in my situation...this brought us together initially, and then the relationship grew through Bible study when he was  the leader of my Bible study group."
*"He listens to me, especially when I share what revelation I received from God's Word." 
    5th :  SELFLESS/LOVE AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH-
  I have always told my own father, that it was his life that truly introduced me to the true Love of Jesus Christ. Honestly, my husband has lived this out as well. He has always been selfless and sacrificed far more than I believe I ever could. Forgive me for being a bit personal here. But, this is vital to wives. When the husband lays down his pleasures and plans to serve his wife this builds her up more than can be said!  Here are words from the wives:
*"He cooks and does dishes. I am already so blessed and my needs are met. I think women crave the listening ear and willingness to help where needed from their husband."
*"He cherish's me."
*"Really care about me."
*"Desire to spend time with me."
  Lastly, I would love to add pursue! A woman loves to be pursued. Yes, like she was when the man of her dreams was first smitten with her. Romancing is something a woman still dreams about. A wife loves her mate to flirt with her, oh I know this sounds silly-but we  woman are silly. We love to feel special and wanted. Pursue means, "to follow in order to overtake, capture/to carry on or continue a course of action." May I reiterate: "To CONTINUE that course of action!" Sometimes, wives may play hard to get; especially if their feathers have been rustled. But, to know that their 'Lover's' eyes are on her and want to capture her heart, soul, mind and body makes her feel-WANTED. That is a nice feeling too; it is a security that is desired and needed. So, husbands...pursue your wives!
   Here is a challenge for husbands and maybe this will help some wives to be able to open up to their spouses on how they feel. God wants happiness in our marriages. He carefully drew out the Master Plan too. Go for it...or go forward, pursue God's Plan for you marriage!



Please feel free to share your hearts desires that you need from your husband!















  


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

PASTOR'S APPRECIATION DAY

 "How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?"
                                    ~Romans 10:14~
[SCROLL ON DOWN FOR IDEAS.]
     In just a few weeks churches all across the U.S. will be celebrating Pastor's Appreciation Day on October 14, 2012.  Yearly this falls on the 2nd Sunday in October.   Most congregations try to celebrate the entire Month. This is also called: “Clergy Appreciation Month and Day.”
   Many of my readers do know that I am a Pastor's Wife as well as an ordained minister. I was born into a pastor's home and thus can safely say I have lived in the Pastoral Ministry my entire 47 years. When I was a little girl, I always said I would 'never' be a pastor's wife. I saw too much and knew how difficult it was in so many avenues. I went to Bible College and attained my degree in Missions. It wasn't long after my husband and I were married that we were swept into the realms of pastorhood! Through out our ministry the Lord has deepened my heart for Pastor's. Those who are just starting off new; Oh buddy I do pray for them! Those who struggle trying to pastor, support a family and work-this is very draining to the family. To those who are constantly spinning trying to not only be a ministry to the Flock God led them to care for but also to a staff who leans on them for guidance and strength. 
   Then, as we observe the day we live in now, we see that the Church is not the 'in' thing. Respect for the office of Clergy has waned greatly. Living a Christian life with great diligence has become a magnificent challenge as the needs of this life swarm and overcome so many. Pastor's love being there for people. Those who truly answered the call have an amazing love for souls, and it is just a thrill to listen and pray for them. 
  Yet as the days turn to years, it can become quite wearisome. This is why it is vital for the people who are serving God under the leadership of Pastor's must pray daily for them. Lift up their hands like Aaron did for Moses. Then joyfully plan on celebrating this special day to honor your pastor's and his wife (I say with a bit of prejudice). 
   I present to you some ideas I gathered from a few resources to help you plan something special for your special servants of God; Your Pastor's. 
    Read here a snidbit of history on Clergy Appreciation Day:

Sept./Oct. 1996 issue of the Saturday Evening Post related the origins of Clergy Appreciation Day.
“In 1992, layperson Jerry Frear, Jr., was brainstorming with church colleagues about how they might be of help to their minister when he glanced at a calendar and noticed that it was almost Groundhog Day. ‘I thought, if they have a day for groundhogs, there ought to be a day for the 375,000 clergy people in America.’ Frear says. So…for the last seven years the second Sunday in October has been set aside to show appreciation for our clergy.”

            ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 




 “Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work...” (I Thessalonians 5:12-13)


1• Pray for your pastor daily.
2• Appreciation certificate or plaque
3• Gift certificate/card
4• Monetary gift
5• Flowers for wives
6• Mini-vacation (provide a weekend trip out of town – maybe at a Bed and Breakfast)
7• Reception following the service
8• An automobile
9• A trip to the Holy Lands for minister and spouse
10• An ocean cruise for minister and spouse
11• A Sabbatical, etc.



  • 12. Everyone has a favorite homemade dessert. Do you know your Pastor's favorite?
  • 13. If your Pastor has children offer to baby-sit. You can give them a FREE voucher to redeem within 24 hours notice.
  • 14. Wash the Pastor's car. And if he has a wife then wash her car too. Don't forget to fill the car with gas while you have it.
  • 15. Purchase a Gift Certificate for you favorite five star restaurant and leave it in the Pastor's Church Mailbox. It is nice to "take" the Pastor and his wife with you for dinner too but sometimes I think they might like a private romantic dinner. They may not otherwise be able to afford such an extravagant evening. Of course they would appreciate even a McDonald's gift certificate.
  • 16. How about taking the Pastor to the clothing store where you get your suits and have him fitted for a brand new suit. Don't forget the shirt, tie, shoes and socks. If you can't afford that then maybe just a new tie might be nice. You might consider giving it as a gift from your Sunday School or Bible Study group.
  • 17. You can make a gift basket with a "theme". Maybe Gardening or Bookworm themes. Just put all different and yet related items to the theme in a nice basket.
  • 18. Symphony, Theater or Movie tickets would be a nice treat too. Don't forget Sports tickets.
  • 19. A home cooked dinner delivered with candles and a nice CD for background music.
  • 20. A gift certificate for a professional massage or even a manicure would be nice.
  • 21. Gifts don't have to be extravagant or expensive to be special. Handmade items have their own special charm. Just make sure that your gift is from the heart and they will love it no matter what it is
  • *22. Host a card shower
  • *23. Special ceremony during a worship service.
  • *24. An open letter of appreciation in the local newspaper.
  • *25Team up with your local Christian bookstore or radio station. (gifted resources)
  • *26Send a letter to members of the congregation explaining Clergy Appreciation Month and include offering envelopes for special love offering.
  • *27Set up a “leafless ” tree that can be decorated with a variety of small gifts.
  • *28.  Schedule special prayer sessions to pray specifically for your pastors and their families.
  • *29Participate in renovating part of the pastor’s home.
  • *30Ask business members throughout your community to use a portion of their
  • advertising marquees to extend your congregation’s message of appreciation.


    Blessings we received in the past: [I cannot remember them all, but will try.]

    1- My husband received an entire Pulpit Commentary Set & I an entire set of Tupperware.
    2- Gift certificate to the best bbq in town (we lived in TX). 
    3- Free babysitting. [Oh yea!]
    4- Shopping spree for new clothes at the mall.
    5- Bible's
    6- Money and money and money (nice).
    7- Cards with special lovely words from each person in the church.
    8- A meal a day for a whole month.
    9- Air plane tickets home...lived a long way from family. [A lot of pastors do.]
    10- New suit for Brad.
    11- Grocery showers. 
    12- Fresh butchered beef, with freezer. 
    ~Lots of love and special prayer services most all the time. 
    Just recently our sweet, little Body of Believers loved on us and celebrated our anniversary (it was a surprise), this humbled us greatly. 

    Love on your pastor's: 
      Compliment them, thank them and help them...of course do pray for them as well. 

    *Renewal Retreats for Pastors:    http://enrichmentjournal.ag.org/retreats.pdf
    *Pastoral Care Hot Line and email from Focus on the Family: pastors@family.or
                         Toll-free: (877) 233-4455  Monday - Friday 6:00am - 8:00pm (Mountain)

    THE PASTOR'S WIFE
    We often hear of Heroes

    on the news at night,

    How someone went into a fire
    To save someone else's life.

    But, there's another hero 

    that we never hear about, 

    Though Her love and dedication
    are never in a doubt.

    Often took for granted... 

    Never glorified,

    Still she keeps on going
    for the person by her side.

    She stands beside him everyday

    no matter what ... is thrown their way,

    For he was called from above 
    To spread the message of "GOD'S LOVE".

    And just as he was called... 

    She was hand picked too.

    for it takes someone Special
    to do what she must do.

    And thou he may get the Glory

    and he may get the Fame,

    She will stand beside him in Love
    and Help him just the same.

    She's the person he turns to

    when he needs a friend,

    She will always be there till the 
    "Glorious End".

    I would like to take this moment

    to introduce to you,

    a LOVELY unsung Hero
    for whom
    GOD hand-picked to spend Her life
    as
    The Pastor's WIFE.

    Donna Golden, from the U.S. state of Georgia

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    OUR PASTOR
    Our Pastor has a thankless job

    In many different ways; 

    He gets a lot of helpful hints, 
    But gets so little praise!

    The time he has is not his own---

    He's not like other men; 

    Right when he thinks some time is his
    There rings that phone again!

    Someone is sick or needs advise, 

    And asks for him to call; 

    And as God's man they know he'll come, 
    And hardly mind at all.

    The wisdom of King Solomon

    Is all he needs each day

    To lead his flock and keep them safe
    From Satan's cunning ways!

    Like Jesus he prays for his sheep---

    Prays faith will never dim; 

    But when we lift our prayers to God
    How many pray for him?

    So let's be faithful to that one

    Who helps us day by day

    Let's not forget our man of God
    When we kneel down to pray!

    ---from The Sawdust Trail

    ------------------------------------------------------




    Monday, September 17, 2012

    LIFE IS A JOURNEY

    LIFE IS A JOURNEY
    Our family journey's on the Blue
    Ridge Parkway are so
    memorable. A true high-
    light of my life.
    Now, another destination is
    directly under our feet as we
    take ONE step at a time! With
    our eyes on our loving Lord,
    Jesus Christ!

    Pondering Thought From Daneille: 

    I saw a quote today...really is so true, yet it seems like we won't be happy until we think we can get to where we want to be. Here's the quote:
    "Life is a journey, not a destination."  My father always said; "Minister to that person right in front of you." My mama quoted the slogan; "Bloom where you are planted." There is a destination that is called eternity...for me that will be in Heaven with my Lord. But, for now I will enjoy this journey no matter how steep or narrow the path; this is a true and fulfilled life.  


    Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your
    own understandings, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will
    direct your steps."





    (C)DaneilleGraySnowden2012